The Benefit. Not only are you setting yourself up for success, you are doing so at the perfect opportunity. Your excitement is high and your commitment to one another just became more confirmed. Planning can be more thorough in premarital counseling as an outside perspective can bring different insights and stronger tools. Plan ahead for the trials to come.
Future. What is your partner's secret ambition? What personal goal have they not yet achieved and how will that goal impact life at home? Moving forward, all of their choices will directly impact you. These personal goals need to be balanced with your relationship goals. Like all of these points - planning for the emotional situation now results in lower stress in the future.
Disagreements. Prepare for life's struggles that will inevitably come. Almost 70% of all disagreements are your forever fights, but this doesn't mean it has to be chaos every time the subject is brought up. You talk about how to have those stressful talks BEFORE you need to have them. Have a plan so you can be pros at juggling life.
Communication. You need to start building effective communication skills now. Build this strength in the beginning. For heterosexual couples, learn how the opposite sex communicates - especially when emotions are high in a disagreement. The more effective your communication skills can be, the more likely you are to still be connected for a lifetime to come.
Traditions. You guys are creating NEW traditions together, but how do you do that? We have to combine the traditions from your background that you enjoyed and create them into a new blended tradition. Let's say you both celebrate a holiday - a lot of the time, couples seem to think this means the traditions will blend together flawlessly when in reality it can clash a bit. Things often go unsaid because you assume your partner had similar traditions.
Strong Foundation. One key factor of a relationship's stability is whether couples put real energy and time into their partner’s lives. Many couples find that this drops off after dating; however, our lives are constantly changing. Your partner's favorite food was pizza when you met, but could easily have changed over that last few years. How well do you know your relationship and its history? What about knowing each partner’s past and present concerns, preferences, and experiences? A strong foundation is created by properly maintaining the friendship you have created - and no, this doesn't just happen. You have to choose to make it happen.
Premarital counseling is a tool to build your solid foundation.
And yet, also scary. I love premarital counseling because there are wonderful topics, goals, and dreams to explore.
Regardless of the services you are seeking, you will have a Blueprint for Success. The Blueprint will show you the strengths and areas of opportunity of your relationship. This is an essential tool for premarital counseling at the Workshop.
Thank you for stopping by The Couples Workshop! I'm honored to help clients communicate their needs effectively within 8-10 weeks on average - instead of 15-20 weeks (national average according to the APA).