Looking for a way to spice up your sex life? For the next few weeks, the blog posts provided will help guide you through a focus on your courtship, develop comfortable ways to talk about sex and make sex a priority in your relationship.
This week, I will be taking inspiration from the Gottman Salsa Card Decks. These decks are broken into three spice levels – mild, medium, and hot. If you would like to purchase this deck for even more details and suggestions, you can do so here (as of November 2023, SRP $16.00).
Discount for my clients: if you want to purchase this card deck I can provide you with my discount code! Let me know at our next session or via email.
Spice Levels For The Card Decks
- Mild deck: for couples who would prefer romantic, non-sexual suggestions.
- Medium deck: for couples who are comfortable with sexual intimacy.
- Hot deck: for couples who want to explore more wild sexual fantasies.
This week, we will explore the mild deck selections with the medium deck to follow next week – stay tuned!
Mild deck instructions: A wonderful way to ‘turn towards’ one another is sexual. It’s one area many couples struggle with talking about openly. We can learn ways of not only talking about sex but also ways of courting one another and knowing each other’s love needs.
Remember: Continue your courtship! Pay each other compliments, tell your partner how they are special, give surprise gifts, find out what soothes them – discover new ways to make your partner feel special!
Tips:
- Rituals of intimacy. Develop rituals or comfortable, routine ways to talk about sex. For instance, consider how to signal whether or not you’re in the mood for sex, or how to communicate what you’d prefer in the bedroom.
- Make sex a priority. Perhaps you can schedule date nights or getaway weekends. What are your preferred times and frequency for having sex?
- Picking the right spice. Start at the spice level where you are both comfortable. I often see one partner wanting to go for a different spice level than their partner. Think about it like making a spicy meal – if one partner prefers the dish to be milder, then cater the spice to that partner. It is challenging when you make a special meal just for it to be too spicy. The idea is to make these moments special for both of you.
To Start:
- If you are using the deck, then split the deck in half between the two of you.
- If you are using this list, consider printing them out or taking turns reading.
- Read through your points and choose a suggestion to share with your partner. You do not have to share all of them if it is not something that interests you.
- See what the conversation brings and consider following through on the suggestions – or make them your own.
Mild Salsa Deck Suggestions
- Talk about how and where you like to be touched or receive affection.
- Buy a surprise gift for your partner.
- Sit at the back of the movie theatre like you are teenagers again.
- Rub each other’s backs/necks.
- Send your partner a love letter or poem.
- Buy your partner your favorite perfume or cologne.
- Compliment your partner’s attire.
- Bring it back to when you were younger by making a CD mix.
- Watch a romantic comedy.
- Go on a romantic date.
- Have a pillow fight.
- Give each other a foot massage.
- Describe what you love about your partner’s body.
- Part for the day with a 6-second kiss.
- Catch your partner doing something right and convey your appreciation.
- Make it possible for your partner to have a day to do whatever they want to do.
- Turn on some music and dance together – this can be more fun, sexy, or romantic as you’d like.
- Hold hands in public – or other preferred forms of PDA.
- Have a picnic dinner in front of your lit fireplace.
- Light candles in your bedroom to cuddle or give massages.
- Sit in a hot tub or bubble bath together.
- Feed desserts to each other.
- Wear an outfit you know your partner likes on you.
- Have breakfast together in bed.
- Buy flowers.
- Get away to a B&B for the weekend.
- Arrange ahead for a romantic lunch over their lunch break.
- Talk about what makes your partner irresistible.
It’s Not Always About Sex
The “success” of the time together should not be whether or not the activity leads to sex. The goal is to increase your intimacy and connection with your partner. When more romantic activities are in place, your partner is likely to be more comfortable and confident talking/exploring sexual preferences.
Revitalize Your Relationship: Spice Up Your Sex Life
Join me on an exhilarating journey with “Spice Up Your Sex Life” – a guide to rekindling the spark in your relationship through innovative and intimate ideas. Are you ready to explore new dimensions of romance and passion? Keep up with my latest insights and advice in this exciting series. Follow me on social media for regular updates, inspirational stories, and creative tips to enrich your relationship. Engage with a vibrant community where we delve into the art of romance and the significance of maintaining a spirited connection with your partner.
- Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ToolsForUs/
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- Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/toolsforus/
- Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@toolsforus
Your involvement is greatly valued, and I’m excited to share this journey of romance and discovery with you across these platforms. Let’s embark on this path together to explore and embrace effective strategies for a more fulfilling and passionate relationship!
I Value Your Feedback
Have the ideas from “Spice Up Your Sex Life” offered you new insights into enhancing your relationship? I’m keen to hear about your experiences and thoughts on enriching your romantic life. Your feedback is crucial in shaping content that truly connects with your needs and aspirations. Please share your thoughts below – your comments are a precious part of this ongoing exploration in our community!
Explore More on My Blog
Fascinated by topics like reinvigorating relationships, deepening intimacy, and love strategies? Visit my blogs for a wealth of resources and inspiration. Dive into content carefully crafted to guide you in nurturing a more passionate, connected, and joyful relationship journey!
To Be Continued in ‘Spice Up Your Sex Life pt.2’
The journey into deeper romance and intimacy continues with “Spice Up Your Sex Life pt.2“. Stay tuned for more innovative and exciting ideas to add a new spark to your relationship. The exploration into enhancing love and connection is just unfolding. Don’t miss out on the next segment of this inspiring journey!