Looking for a way to spice up your sex life? Starting last week, the blog posts provided can help guide you to develop a focus on your courtship, create comfortable ways to talk about sex, and how make sex a priority in your relationship.
Again this week, I will be taking inspiration from the Gottman Salsa Card Decks. These decks are broken into three spice levels – mild, medium, and hot. If you would like to purchase this deck for even more details and suggestions, you can do so here (as of November 2023, SRP $16.00).
Discount for my clients: if you want to purchase this card deck I can provide you with my 10% discount code! Let me know at our next session or via email.
Spice Levels For Card Decks
- Mild deck: for couples who would prefer romantic, non-sexual suggestions.
- Medium deck: for couples who are comfortable with sexual intimacy.
- Hot deck: for couples who want to explore more wild sexual fantasies.
This week, we will explore the medium deck selections.
For the instructions on the card decks as well as my additional tips, check out part 1 of this series which is the previous post. I recommend starting with the mild section as the foundational conversations about sex and intimacy are grown at that level. This is a great skill to develop regardless of what level you also want to explore.
To Start:
- If you are using the deck, then split the deck in half between the two of you.
- If you are using this list, consider printing them out or taking turns reading.
- Read through your points and choose a suggestion to share with your partner. You do not have to share all of them if it is not something that interests you.
- See what the conversation brings and consider following through on the suggestions – or make them your own.
Medium Salsa Deck Suggestions
- While your partner gets ready for bed, quickly undress and slide into bed, surprising them with your naked body.
- Develop a code word(s) for wanting sex. For example, one couple referred to sex as “dessert”. Friends and family thought they had a big sweet tooth when they said, “We can’t wait for dessert!”
- Reinvent your honeymoon at home – perhaps with outfits, music, etc.
- Meet for a date using fantasy/play names for the evening.
- Read erotica or romance novels to your partner in bed.
- Kiss passionately.
- Talk to each other about where you like to be kissed on your body.
- Go to a beautiful and private outdoor place to be intimate.
- Have fun in a hot tub.
- Play sexy music in your bedroom – take turns picking the music.
- Gently caress each other with different objects, like a feather, velvet cloth, smooth stone, etc.
- Undress each other slowly.
- Take a warm bath together.
- Change up the times when you make love. For example, waking up early while the children are still asleep.
- Talk about what you liked best the last time you made love.
- Have a quickie.
- Buy some body oil and new lingerie, undergarments, or even robes for a nice, long massage.
- Take turns initiating sex.
- Talk to your partner during sex.
- Try a new position and talk about how well you liked it.
Combining Courtship & Sex
While the mild deck is not always about sex, this medium spice level ties more into sex. The thing to remember here is that we want to tie the lessons from the mild deck to these new activities. While there is a focus on sex, it does not mean that courtship is not necessary. Continue to court your partner by giving them compliments, physical touch, etc. to make the medium deck even more effective.
Spice Up Your Sex Life: Join Our Community of Growth and Passion!
As we conclude our journey through “Spice Up Your Sex Life pt. 2,” remember that this is just the beginning. In my blog, I regularly share helpful tips, inspiring stories, and the latest trends in therapy and wellness. These resources are designed to empower you and your partner in building a more fulfilling and passionate relationship.
I invite you to join my vibrant community and be an active part of our ongoing conversation. Your experiences, insights, and stories are what make this community rich and supportive. Together, we can explore the depths of intimacy, understand the nuances of relationships, and discover new ways to enrich our lives.
Stay connected and informed:
- Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ToolsForUs/
- Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecouplesworkshop/
- Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/toolsforus/
- Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@toolsforus
Your involvement means the world to me, and I am excited to continue this journey with you. Let’s keep the conversation going and grow together in our understanding and application of therapy and wellness in our lives.
Your Feedback Matters
Your thoughts and feedback are invaluable to me. They help shape the content and ensure it’s relevant, helpful, and inspiring. If you have any reflections or experiences you’d like to share from “Spice Up Your Sex Life pt.2,” or any other topic, please leave a comment below. Your input is a crucial part of our journey together.
Explore More on My Blog Discover More
Interested in further exploring themes of relationship enhancement, personal wellness, and effective therapy techniques? Make sure to visit my blogs often for fresh content that’s crafted to support and guide you in your relationship and personal growth journey.
Before you go, if you haven’t already, be sure to check out ‘Spice Up Your Sex Life pt. 1‘ for valuable insights and ideas that complement what you’ve discovered here in part two. Your feedback and participation are always appreciated in our vibrant community.
Together, let’s build a space of learning, inspiration, and mutual support!