Book Review: Heal Your Relationship Explored
Book Description (as found in the book):
Once the relationship was healthy. And now it’s in trouble. Rather than working unproductively, feeling confused, and grasping for tired solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant, do something about it. This book will show you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what’s been causing all your troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them.
Psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten Love Killers that cause all the painful and mysterious problems couples get into.
By answering simple questions, you’ll be able to diagnose your case and identify the lover killer for your specific problems. For every love killer, there is a corresponding Love Builder – a prescription tailor-made for your particular problem that can help heal your relationship. These solutions grew out of fourteen years of pioneering research into ways couples solve their problems, delving into every aspect of life together, from sex to money, from affection to conversation, from watching TV to planning for the future – all based on what happens to real love between real people amid the stress and distraction of real life.
If you’re longing for the closeness and passion that once was yours, find out now what’s wrong with your relationship, and exactly how to fix it – and make your love better than ever.
Initial Reaction to Heal Your Relationship Insights:
I write initial reactions after I have personally read the first 2-3 chapters of the book. When starting the book, I found myself trying to read faster in order to get to the content. The introduction is longer than I expected.
While I am a therapist and I know some of this content from my training, it may seem like common sense to some degree for me. At the same time, you as a reader are not inexperienced in relationships. I would imagine some of you would feel the same. I found myself saying, “Can we get to the content already?”
You may or may not have a similar experience. From the introduction, I appreciated how Kirshenbaum has a smooth easy-reading writing style that made me easily understand how she formats the content. When I’m already trying to learn something new, having a consistent writing style can be important. All in all, she has made me excited to read the rest of the book.
Mid-Way Reaction:
As stated in my initial reaction, the format of the book continues to be easy to read. Again, this is a bonus because your mind is focused on reading and learning the content she is providing. The chapters are often laid out into 4 chunks:
- Introduction to the potential problem (Kirshenbaum calls these “love killers”),
- Examples of how this problem has impacted couples in her treatment,
- Yes or no questions for you to answer to personally assess if the specific “love killer” is at play,
- Solutions to address the “love killers”.
I think for some couples, this book will help acknowledge what the true issue is in your relationship.
Final Reaction:
My biggest concern with this book is whether or not each couple can utilize the solutions in the book. They are not as specific in their solutions as I like to be with clients. I believe solutions have to be custom-tailored to be effective – more specifically, I believe the custom-tailoring will help clients reach their solutions – faster! That’s my main goal at the Workshop, to get you in and out of therapy faster than a traditional therapy setting.
But that comes at a cost, so if you are both willing to wait a little longer for your solutions to set in, this book may be a good fit. If you are finding that the solutions aren’t taking hold or aren’t moving as fast as you would like, you may want to call us for a consultation.
Conclusion: Relationship Healing Journey in Review
All in all, this is still a book recommendation. I do believe it can help some couples, but not all couples. I often recommend some chapters of this book in combination with therapy at the Workshop. So just know, that I believe these tools can be helpful, but it is not a one-size-fits-all. It’s worth a shot to try – but know I’m a call away if it is not a good fit.
Rating: 4.5/5
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