5 Love Languages Book Review: The Secret To Love That Lasts
Book by: Gary Chapman
First, a disclaimer: Yes, this book has a religious-tone. And no, The Couples Workshop is not affiliated with any religion. All religious and spiritual views are welcomed at the Workshop. If reading examples tied to Christianity or of God may strike an unpleasant cord for you, then please reach out to the Workshop and we can discuss the same 5 love languages in a more religious-neutral space. (Of course, this is an option for any of you, even if you’ve enjoyed this book). If you are not interested in reading the book tied to religion, I have an “at-home tools” page specifically on love languages that can be found here.
Exploring the Core of ‘The 5 Love Languages‘
Book Description: With over 12 million copies sold, this book is a #1 New York Times Bestseller. According to Chapman, there are 5 types of love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. We “speak” our love through our top love language(s) – of the 5, you will have a more primary love language. The thing that can cause distress in relationships is speaking a different love language than your partner – maybe your primary love language is physical touch, and your partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation. If you can first identify your love languages, you can then learn to speak to your partner’s language – and them speak to yours.
Initial Reaction: I write initial reactions after I have personally read the first 2-3 chapters of the book. I always forget that this book is religious-based, because of how wide-spread in its popularity it is (but we’ve already talked about this). This book is an easy read as they get straight to the point fairly quickly. This seems to be a theme for me, however, I am finding these chapters to also be longer than it needs to be. No, I’m not an author, but I just think it is marketed as a self-help book, so let’s get to the help section!
Concluding Thoughts on ‘The 5 Love Languages‘
Final Reaction: (Yes, I’m skipping the mid-way reaction because I don’t want to be hypocritical and talk more than I need to!) Chapman discusses the five love languages along with examples on how to meet them for your partner. Again, I don’t want to talk too much on the different love languages as I have already posted a blog going in depth on the same material. Overall, yes I believe this book is a useful tool for those who enjoy reading. If you do not enjoy reading, I think you can get the important points from the online quiz that’s helps to identify your specific love language(s). If you do not enjoy reading, check out the quiz for more information.
“This isn’t a cure all.”
While reading this book, I’ve developed a rare opinion: love languages aren’t enough. It is a huge tool in identifying your love languages. At the same time, this isn’t a cure all.
It helps you learn how to make your partner feel more love; however, it is a band aid. If you have a minor cut in your relationship – awesome. If your concerns stem a little deeper – it’ll be less effective.
With this opinion, I have decided to make a totally new At-Home Tools post about this point. I will post it in the within the next month, so check back soon if you want to know more about this belief.
All in all, it is still a book/quiz I recommend to you (and have even taken this quiz myself). Maybe just don’t expect it to move mountains and know what it can really be used for – identifying how you can make your partner feel important and how you feel love.
Lastly, the website promotes an app called Love Nudges. If used incorrectly this can cause a lot of pain and be used as a weapon. I cannot recommend this app to everyone and would only recommend this if I know the couple.
Rating: 3.5/5
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