In couples therapy, I talk about building solutions in order to move forward in your relationship. These tools are critical to rebuild connection in your relationship. At the same time, there are foundational pieces that are also important in your relationship. Sometimes this means we must start by creating the building blocks for that connection.
What are the building blocks of a relationship?
Building blocks are the components of a successful relationship that you guys can utilize when tackling high stress situations. Building blocks tend to be similar among relationships such as:
- Effective listening skills
- Effective speaking skills
- Conflict management skills
- Coping skills
- Self-care plans
- Rituals of connection
- Friendship
When building blocks are in place, we can utilize them to create customized solutions. When they are not in place, we need to create them before addressing other concerns. When they are not in place, the first solution is getting them to work for you.
Goals tied to the foundation
Sometimes clients come in with goals specifically tied to their relationship’s foundation. When that is the case, I often work to implement new skills by assessing the level of importance. Depending on the couple, I will often tell them my interpretation of what would be important to address first.
Goals tied to other skills
The foundation is still important even if you have a solid foundation in place. When we start working on other goals, remember making changes are challenging. Sometimes, I will see a crack forming in the foundation even when we are working on another tough goal. This happens from time to time, so it is important to have regular ways of addressing and strengthening the foundation – even if it is not the main problem.
If you are a client:
Sometimes we will talk about these skills in session together to get the foundation in place. Building these skills often turns into homework assignments for you to work on outside of our time together.
Everyone:
Even if you are a current client, these reminders can be beneficial when strengthening your foundation. If you are not a client, then try out these tips.
Biggest Takeaway: If you find that one of these is more challenging than another, then I recommend focusing on a point that is easier for you both to address. Why?
- You build up confidence when something feels easier to accomplish
- You are both initiating the behaviors needed to start focusing on goals you want to work on – i.e. confidence in the process, not just the solution
- A challenging point may lessen if you are able to connect outside of that struggle
- Sometimes it is easier to build communication skills when you have rituals of connection.
What other point would you add as a fundamental piece to your relationship? Every relationship is unique with its own set of strengths and challenges. At the same time, a foundation is needed when you are wanting to tackle goals.
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I value your feedback
Was my article on “Building A Strong Foundation” helpful in strengthening the core of your relationship? I’d love to hear any personal insights or suggestions you have on creating a solid base for your partnership. Your feedback is crucial to me as it guides me in creating content that aligns with your needs and experiences. Please, leave a comment below. I make it a point to read every message and greatly appreciate your input!
Explore more on my blog
For more insightful content on developing strong relationships, personal growth, and effective communication techniques, similar to my “Building A Strong Foundation” series, please visit my blogs. You’ll find a wealth of resources and inspiration aimed at fostering love, partnership, and mutual growth at every relationship stage. Dive into my carefully curated content and embark on a journey of love and collaboration together!